there is this little description i've heard time and time again in meetings, about addiction.
it goes something like this:
i'm in these rooms, i keep showing up, i keep doing the work, being of service, and flexing my proverbial recovery muscles in meetings and the entire time i am doing this, the disease is in the parking lot doing pushups. waiting for me. ready to pounce into action.
being aware of this is progress. it's the progress we speak of, valued above perfection.
life happens, stagnation breaks with big movements and winds of change.
i'm currently caught in a very strong gust of change. i need to practice what i know every single day or i will be swept away into a sort of paralysis of analysis.
there is fear in moving to a new country, unsure where you will lay your head to rest in a few months time. who will show up in my life. what new friends or contacts or potential partners await me.
but i know the universe has a plan for me. and i know that plan is out of my hands. i can only do the next right thing. i can only do what i can in the present moment.
and at 10:48pm on a sunday night, that is write. release. pray. give thanks. reflect and evaluate. look inward and meditate. breathe. relax.
and eventually, sleep.
