today is your birthday
last night, i lay awake with my best friend by my side well into the early hours
taking a moment to reflect, in total comfort, in total safety, in total support
it has been 6 years since i've seen your face
or heard your voice
and though i'll never ever forget you or your voice
all that you taught me, all that you showed me, all of your love, however troubled and complex it may have been
it feels like i've lived a lifetime without you
though my resentment toward you comes in waves and seemingly lives in my blood stream, i do hope you're happy and content with the life you've chosen
i do hope you gain a greater self awareness and perhaps the courage to deal with your own pain someday
i don't know your story, but i know it wasn't easy
i also know it wasn't your fault
you did the best you could with what you had
but 6 years ago, you were given a chance to do better
you just didn't choose me
it's taken me 6 years to admit that- you didn't choose me.
and today i can say that i'm okay with that
i don't know what the future holds for you or for me or for the insanely dynamic energy that exists between us
after all, you birthed me
the only thing i know is that i will never forget that, nor take it for granted
thank you, for before, for setting me free, for teaching me lessons, and for doing the best you could
