heroin.
they called you that before it made sense to me.
heroin.
my drug of choice.
you.
H.
you are in my head.
my brain is screaming so loudly and viciously at me lately.
'give up. give in. surrender to it. you know it's going to happen anyway. just do it, you have nothing to lose.'
but i can see it for what it is now. fear.
of change, of moving far far away, of starting a new chapter.
it will steer the ship into the ice burg, full speed ahead, if i'm not careful.
it makes me think incorrectly
it makes me assume and analyze and worry
that you're not okay
that you're hurt
that you're thinking of me, too.
and i wish i knew what it all meant.
but it's none of my business and i am so goddamn powerless.
heroin.
i am struggling.
