as the sun set, she wasn't sure if she was shaking from the chill of the night or because of her nerves. the nerves that come from meeting someone for the first time. the anticipation, the worry, the excitement. but she swallowed hard and off she went. to put herself out there, to get outside of herself. to experience new things. what other option did she have? that's life, right? she was looking for something fun, something easy, and, inevitably, something fleeting.
she found that something fun. she found that something easy. but days later she found herself with a deep desire for longevity. this person, this being, this union, this thing akin to sunshine. it's magic, isn't it? she thought. she still thinks. he lights her up and fills her with so much strength. so much courage. so much happiness and such pure joy. they understand each other. together, life makes more sense. words escape her. them. the potential for what this could be in her life is indescribable. it means more than mere language can provide. this is the type of thing she has always dreamed of finding. her person in this life and maybe the next, if there is one. it's not lost on her that people go entire lifetimes never finding this person. their person. or that people mistake toxicity, desire, and longing for something that it isn't... herself included.
and so it goes. life is a series of trial and error. sunshine and darkness. joy and pain. balance. and after so much error, so much darkness, so much pain...maybe, just maybe, the universe is telling her 'it's your turn, love.'
