to escape feelings of loneliness, you exist. you exist in my dreams, in my hopes and aspirations, in my past and future. you exist in my present, but only in the form of a bridge. you love, you live, you yearn for me. but in return you are a form of distraction. a stepping stone to what comes next. you are a reminder of all the time spent seeding through, wishing, hoping, yearning, and yet being disappointed. time, and time, and time.
this is the essence of the art of distraction. and a fine art it is. I'm an apprentice, you see. a real beginner to this strange and yet addictive world. one in which leaves me wanting more, yet also desperate to escape into a protective shell. a place where I can shield my emotions and hide from you.
but cower away I do not. even if, in my present, you act as a faint outline. a ghost of experiences past. though I strive to stay present, you force me to search for memories that have faded to mere moments. the ones that exist to remind me of what once was. of what could be. the ones that made me smile. the ones that made you smile. the habits that became comforts. the beautiful passing of time together. the strange and curious behaviours that become all too foreign as time goes by.
as time goes by... I realize, the art of distraction is nothing more than a momentary escape from the sombre traps of alone. important, always, is to recognize. to be self-aware. these days, well, I'm more aware than ever. aware that I'm no artist.
