no motivation, no words, sincerely struggling.
gray is less muddy than the status of my relationship. my relationship with him. it suffers, because i made him suffer. it suffers, because pain lingers, trust was broken and remains so.
muddy, exhausted, tired, impatient, stressed, worried, anxious. that's where my mind will go, if i let it. but i dont. i work hard to stay busy, stay distracted, be better, be healthier, heal. healing is the name of my game.
courage and strength. i'm not without either, but i desperately want more and more of each. to lift me up, protect me, give me hope and allow me to keep fighting with every morsel of my being.
i am a woman, after all. and fight is what we must do.
