Ego
Edging god out
Ism
I, self, me
I don't want to be concerned with me anymore. I want to be concerned with others. With how I can be helpful. If I stay in my mind, it will drive me to the gates of insanity or death. If I make my life all about me, I will not survive. I barely did then, I will not now. I was the girl who thought she was so selfless, that thought she did everything for everyone. Someone with a chip on their shoulder because I just did so much and was never paid back. I was drowning. Pining after some thing, some one, some place, some sequence of events, some country, some job, some life that would save me. Save me from me. From the crippling worthlessness that was bestowed upon me at such a young age. From the constant chatter in my head saying 'you're not good enough'. From the thousand forms of fear that I lived in each day. Fears that ran my life. The pain and suffering and victim mentality that kept me afloat through years of group therapy, individual therapy, retreats, self help groups, books, travel, space, time, avoidance.
It has been my experience that there is only one solution.
One answer.
To ask for help:
Hello eternal loving presence
It's so nice to be in touch with you, old friend.
I'm ready to divorce my ego.
It will always be present, but a healthy separation is essential for progress.
Thank you, universe. For making it happen. For removing my fears. For answering my prayers. For guiding me because we all know I cannot guide myself. Forever grateful.
